The Long Road Home

As I write this last blog about my trip, I am on the second to last hour of my return home that started 60 hours ago. This whole trip has been one of unplanned events, but that is ok, because Allah is the best of planners. We started this trip not knowing when we would leave, then in England, not knowing the agenda for our stay in the Caususes, and then when we finally got there, not knowing until the night before, the plan for the next day. And sometimes, like the situation with the school in Beslan or the early departure from Grozny, plans changing at the last minute. However, alhamdulillah, each one of us on this trip had a reliance on Allah that He would allow us to see what needed to be seen and nothing further. And as I look back on this trip, many thoughts come to mind and I am sure the more I speak about it with friends and family, the more I will digest and understand, because that is the nature of these trips. During the journey itself, you have one understanding, and as time passes, your understanding changes, and with the help of Allah, grows deeper and more fruitful.

We left on Friday August 12 from Nalchik to Moscow and again we flew in a Russian jet. However, this one was a little scarier. Not because the flight was bad, but I had the unfortunate foresight to look at the tires of the plane before we took off: they were bald, but not only that, they were such that I would be scared to drive with them in my car, let alone land a jet, wearing even more of them on landing when the tires screech to the ground. As asked my companions to make a special dua for our safe journey and after that, felt a little better. On the way out of Moscow, we had left at night and I was not sitting next to the window, so didn’t see the bird’s eye view. On our return, I had that opportunity. The remnants of communism still remain in that the sprawling city is an amalgamation of 15 or so story buildings that house people. Advanced in communist times was defined by tall buildings in cities, and if that is the criteria, then they really gave everyone a run for their money. From the sky, it looked like every mile or so, there was a complex of 5 to 6 buildings arranged together and all were the same. These were housing complexes for the masses.

On our arrival to Moscow we discovered that our flight was cancelled so they re-routed us through Brussels on a different airline. Since Thursday, my plan was to arrive Friday night, go up to Leeds to visit my Aunt on Saturday and then leave on Sunday from Manchester. However, that schedule would have put me in San Francisco pretty late at night. On arrival into Brussels and waiting for our next flight to London, I just happened to confirm my schedule and realized that it had been changed once again. I would arrive San Francisco earlier, but have a much longer journey. Anyway, I arrived in London and spent the night at my cousin’s place and then the next morning took a bus to Leeds. I spent the day touring around Leeds and York with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousin. They showed me the beautiful England countryside and some of the small villages. Interesting to note that these villages are very small, maybe consisting of 30 families and each of them has a pub, a post office, and a restaurant; nothing else. Also, in these towns, there is not the visible sign of immigrants as one sees in the bigger cities. The very few that do live there are all professionals or business owners that have bought large manors to the dismay of the locals, as my uncle put it. I left that night on an all night bus ride from Leeds to London Heathrow. Arriving at Heathrow, I had little time for rest and boarded my flight to Chicago. On the plane, I began to think of what I would answer to the immigration officer of my travels that had taken me to places that people could only imagine. Leaving Moscow, I had a sense of freedom on the plane, but now, on the plane to the US, I was having doubts about this freedom. I have often found that entering other countries with a US passport is easier than entering the US. Alhamdulillah, the immigration officer didn’t even ask me any questions, just stamped my passport and let me through. However, my flight was late and I only had 40 minutes from the moment the plane landed till my next plane would take off. I was convinced I would not make it, but again, alhamdulillah, Allah was lighting my way and making it easy. I arrived at my gate as the last passenger and as soon as I stepped on Board, the doors closed, as if they were just waiting for me.

So here I am, writing my thoughts as this trip comes to a close. But this is hardly the end, but rather just the beginning as my task now switches to doing something about what I have seen. In many ways, it is more difficult than the journey itself. When people ask me how my trip was, how do I answer. Do I tell them that Allah blessed me by allowing me to see things few get to see, even though throughout the trip, we didn’t know what we would see? Or do I tell them about the political situation in this area, because even after all this time, many people don’t know what or why things developed the way they did in that region. Or yet still, do I just explain the pain and suffering I saw on the faces and in the eyes of the people I saw. In the end, I think it will be a combination of all three, but my heart even now is heavy just thinking about it. I had a conversation with one of the Islamic Relief people on this trip on our journey about what he learned. He mentioned that he saw things he didn’t expect to see and it made him feel worse that he expected to feel. I countered that why is this any different that the situation that some people live in the US with, in the inner city, the homeless, and others. He didn’t have an answer and I didn’t answer for him, allowing him to think about it and let it soak in to a point that some answer will come to him. My lone journey back from London has allowed me some time to think about it and although my answer might change in time, I feel that the reason why the situation there is different is because it has been forgotten about. In the US, with the current famine in Niger, there are things being done or news being reported. In the US, every city has a food bank, or other organizations willing to help the poor and needy. These organizations don’t eliminate the hunger and poverty, but at least they are there. In Chechnya and Ingushetia, as mentioned earlier, nobody is there. And if wasn’t for the sacrifice of the people I met there who are trying to make a difference, nobody would be doing anything. If the government had it their way, even Islamic Relief and WFP would not be operating there, because their very existence admits to the atrocities they have committed. No major campaigns, no major appeals for help, no numerous institutions providing help because of the difficult political situation in the area.

Another thought that was brewing in my mind while I was there in Grozny and then as I was leaving is about the somewhat lawlessness in that area. As I mentioned, the four major groups operating are the Russian military, the FSB, the Chechan government, and the mafia. But in their competing for control, nobody is being helped. When we spoke to people, there was sadness, not anger. However, I think it is only a matter of time before it becomes anger and when it does, then the terrorists in that area will have an endless supply of recruits. It has already happened twice in the past 5 years and I suspect it will to happen because one of things that they are demanding, as the Palestinians did in the 70s and 80s is attention toward their plight. It might become a similar story, where some Chechans commit brutal acts in order for the world to take notice. The reprisal of these acts will be just as brutal by the Russian military, which will only anger the people more. The cycle will continue until someone steps in and says enough is enough. I pray this scenario does not happen, because many innocent lives will be lost. However, with no reconstruction, with no hope for a better tomorrow, people will do things which give their lives meaning, even if it is the wrong meaning. But with a wave of compassion and an open hand from us, we can spur a hope. I call in one refugee area, after a mother had finished explaining, with tears in her eyes, the situation they were in and had been in, we told her that the food was being provided by Muslims in America. Her crying stopped, her demeanor changed, and she began to thank us profusely. This one story, if repeated again and again with can go a long way in changing the hearts of the people from sadness to hope rather than from sadness to anger and despair. But it is up to us to do this, because everyone else has forgotten. But insha Allah, we will not forget.

Till Next Time,
Babi

Visiting Refugees

For the past two days, we have been waking up in the morning and driving from Nalchik to Nazran to interview the beneficiaries of Islamic Relief. But before speaking about the beneficiaries, I would like to take a tangent on something interesting. And that is the way that the people drive in the area. We normally went in three cars, with security personal in front and behind, and most times, on very bumpy roads, we would be driving about 80-90 mph. The interesting thing is that these drivers do not slow down or stop for anything except…………. They definitely don’t stop for cars, weaving around them into on coming traffic, and the first few times my heart jumped with the close calls we had. However, all of them slow down for animals. Mainly, cows are the Kings of the Road, with no fear of being it. They casually stand in the road or walk across and even as the cars weave around them, sometimes even honking, they just stand and do what they do best. But back to the beneficiaries, Islamic Relief has a contract with the the UN World Food Program to supply food to Chechan refugees living in Nazran as well as the Ingush people. Going to the first distribution center, we met up with a family in the town of Ali Yurt, on the outskirts on Nazran. It is very emotional to sit and patiently listen to a family tell of the horrors of war, of the situation they are in, and it would take a very cold person not to be affected.

As we walked through the camps, we stopped and spoke to 4-5 member families living in a small room. In some buildings, 25 families each live in a room the size of our bedrooms, no AC in the summer and no heaters in the winter. The have a communal toilet (usually one) and share a kitchen with, at most, three stoves. And they have been living like this, some of them, since the first Chechan war!!!! It is sad to see their state, and even sadder to know that the world has forgotten about them. All but three aid agencies have left the area for lack of funding.

In one of the towns, after stopping and visiting with families, we say a large mosque perched on hill overlooking the town. It was very beautiful and we did stop to visit it. It was still under construction and the caretaker told us that it was being built by private donations from the local people. It had the capacity of approximately 600 and he expected it to be full, once opened, for jumma prayer. It is interesting to note the level of Islam and how strong it gets as you move east from Nalchik. In the entire city of Nalchik, it was told to us that there is only 1 mosque (population 300k). Next to Kabardino-Balkaria is North Ossetia which is 90% Christian. Crossing this republic and moving further east, one comes to Ingushetia and Nazran as its capital, which has approx. 185 mosques. Further east of Ingushetia is Chechnya which speaks for itself. Maybe the number of mosques in a locality might not be the standard of how religious a community is in the US, but in this area it does matter. Why, because the communists destroyed all signs of religion. Any mosques one finds were all built after the fall of communism. But mosques aren’t the only thing. In Nazran, compared to Nalchik, the women are more modestly dressed and the men where kufis as a sign of their identity. Also, most of the kids we met knew at least the fatiha and some other surahs, taught to them by their parents. In Nalchik, some don’t even know what fatiha is!!!!

One of our plans was to also visit the school in Beslan that was tragically destroyed after Basayev’s followers took over the school and took hostages. However, Allah is the best of planners. Islamic Relief’s security chief told us that North Ossetia was not safe for us to go into and visit. Now, driving from Nalchik to Nazran, as I mentioned, one has to go through North Ossetia, but in North Ossetia, one has to drive through Beslan. But one thing I didn’t notice until after he told us that we could not go visit the school was that in all the days we were there, we would speed through North Ossetia and not once had we ever stopped there. Islamic Relief, donated 3 ambulances to the hospitals in Beslan, but the common people are still upset, agreeably, with what happened at the school. It is still fresh in their minds because the couple of terrorists that did survive are on trial right now.

Tomorrow, we leave this area to come back to the US. I will write more about my feelings after leaving, but one thing persists in my mind. That I came and saw the situation, and now can leave and go back to my comfortable existence. The refugees cannot leave and must face the situation every day, and the Islamic Relief staff cannot leave as they have dedicated their lives (literally) to helping the poor and needy. May Allah allow me to never forget what I have seen and constantly pray for their patience and success.

Till Next Time,
Babi.

My Trip Into Chechnya

What a day!!!! We left Nalchik in the morning at around 7:00 am on our way to Nazran. The drive was about two and a half hours to the border of Ingushetia and Chechnya. We waited for the our escort to come and pick us up, not knowing exactly what to expect. They did finally come after about an hour delay because of some security hold ups on the way from Grozny. Our escorts were all commandos with probably some experience in the previous wars. There were two cars that met us and then two more joined us in route, totaling about 8 guards. Each had a machine gun and most had a hand held and a grenade jacket. It might seem like a bit much, but the security situation in Grozny is much worse than even I expected. I was told to expect a lot, but I could not imagine what I saw. There are at least 10-15 police officers and Russian soldiers killed on a weekly basis, and people are always subject to kidnappings. That was our fear and as such, every so often, the cars would stop and we would switch to another car. Each car would alternate in taking the lead.

One thing in common with all of them, however, was the way they drove , the music the listened to, and the smoking they did. The distance from the border to Grozny was about 60 km with about 3 check points along the way. Imagine a 4 car caravan, driving about 140 km/hr, alternating the lead, music loudly blaring with the latest in European and American music, Match Box 20, Nelly, etc. Even though it was only a one two lane highway, they seemed to make a third lane right in the middle, not caring whether the cars in the opposite direction would slow down or stop. In retrospect, they were great drivers who knew what they were doing because driving slow would have meant less time in Grozny and also more chance of kidnapping.

Our first stop was a school on the outskirts of Grozny that was bombed out and destroyed during the war. Currently, half of it is under construction to be completed by September so that it can be running by the beginning of the school year. The construction is being sponsored by the Islamic Development Bank, ECHO (European Commission Humanitarian Organization) and Islamic Relief. The road to the school was terrible and one could hardly call it a road. When we asked, they said it was because of the tanks used to drive through the streets and because they were so heavy they destroyed the roads. But we weren’t even on the main roads, we were in a subdivision. Each house also had holes along the front gates and walls of the house, from shrapnel which also explains the damaged roads. When we went to the school, our route there was twice as long as our route back to the main road, again because of the situation.

Our second stop was the only Children’s Hospital in all of Grozny, but it was small two story building. As we spoke to the head MD and then moved through the wards, I realized that each room had about 5 hospital beds and all were full. In fact, as we walked into the hospital, there was a child who needed to be taken upstairs to a room, but there was no one to do it. The nurses asked our guards to put the guns down and help with the sick person, and after a bit of “you do it not me”, two did volunteer. One of the children in the hospital had come in with a bullet wound in his leg, probably from a stray bullet. Let no one say that the situation in Chechnya is ok, because that is what happens when there are not reports on the news. The fact that this boy was in the hospital with a bullet wound in his leg says otherwise.

From here, I thought that we were going to visit some orphans in Grozny but the security situation turned for the worse along the way and we turned back and immediately headed back to Ingushetia. However, we did get to drive through a part of Grozny proper I was quite surprised and saddened at the same time. Every building taller than 3 stories was bombed out and most were completely raised. There was grass growing in places where buildings stood because the buildings were so destroyed. Now, I was in Sarajevo and Bosnia one year after the war, but Chechnya, 5 years after the last war, was insurmountably worse. Every house in subdivisions was either bombed or shrapnel hit and every building in the city was destroyed. Many shops were located in the ground floor of buildings that looked like they were about to collapse. A normal person would be scared to walk past these buildings, let alone set up shop, but these people were going about their daily lives. Probably the only reason why they are not rebuilding is because they feel there is no point. After the first war the rebuilt and the second war destroyed it all. Why build again when a third might be around the corner?

This trip to Grozny has taught me so much and has rejuvenated my being. No matter how bad the situation gets for us, it could not be worse than what these people are going through. I saw today only the remnants of a devastating war, imagine if a person lived through the destruction. But unfortunately most didn’t and thus the huge number of orphans, many of whom probably suffer from nightmares about their experience. When we were at the school, we met a boy who was 9. After asking him a few questions, he began to cry. When we asked why, they said because he was shy. I don’t believe that. A shy person hides or keeps quite or runs away, but he cried. Only Allah knows why, but with armed guards around him, unfamiliar people asking him questions, maybe he remembered back to a day that he soon would have forgot. May Allah grant me the strength to not give and to have the words to explain and share the story with everyone that I know of what I saw today. The Russians have done a great job of containing the information coming out of Chechnya, but Allah gave me this opportunity to experience it first hand, and insha Allah will keep me alive long enough to share this information with the rest of the world.

Till Next Time,
Babi

Types of Muslims

Today seemed like the real beginning of our trip. After breakfast we went to visit the grave and then the parents of a staff member of Islamic Relief who gave his life delivering food to the needy. It was January 2004, and the car 4 people were driving in lost a wheel and crashed, killing all four inside. Only the tough terrain of the land could have caused such an accident. From Nalchik it was a 30 minute drive to the village where Murad lived and is now buried. The graveyard was on a hill overlooking the entire village. A small village, the only mosque in town, on the main road was built by the efforts of Murad in raising money for it from across the world. His father is now the caretaker and lives just a few hundred yards from it. As we went up to pray fatiha at his grave, I could see the mood of the IR staff with us to one of somberness. Afterwards, we went a visited his parents and it is interesting to note that from the moment we arrived, his mother was in tears and speaking of him and his father only said “that was the will of Allah”. I think the difference between the two response has much to do with the nature of men verses women and the merciful nature that women have. No matter what her son would have been like, evil, bad, etc. a mother would only remember the good, where as a father would remember both if not only the bad, if the bad was done to him. Murad was good person who gave his life in “helping the needy”, so this doesn’t apply here, but in general mothers are more forgiving of things done to them by their children.

Another point of note is the hospitality of the people here. I mean it goes without saying that all over the Muslim world, this culture is something great that even if the religion was lost, hospitality was not. It is also something I find is lacking in the west. Funny thing is, we are hospitable to people who come to our houses, but outside our homes we can be the cruelest of people. Maybe we need to define “our houses” a little more broadly to include the entire world. This way, we begin to feel that anybody anywhere who is living on this earth deserves our hospitality. After all, aren’t we the caretakers (khalifas) of this world. If we did do this, then probably most violence, torture, humiliation, and other evils would stop. After all, when was the last time you heard of a person committing on a guest, even though that guest was rude. At most, you would ask them to leave. A little simplistic, maybe, but a thought to ponder.

We did not tell the parents of Murad in advance that we were coming because if we had, they would have prepared a huge meal for us. However, having shown up unannounced, within 10 minutes, they were bringing out food that had been prepared then and there. They had prepared a dish called khichin, like a paratha with cheese inside of it, a stack of about 15, drinks, bread, and fruit. We quickly ate some and left for if we hadn’t, more food would have been on its way.

On the drive back, and so far throughout the time here, I have noticed the number of bars in and around town. On asking our guide in Moscow earlier about the economy of Nalchik, he said it was mainly Vodka. It is very easy at first glance to be judgmental about Muslims in this area drinking alcohol, but one must be reminded of where these people are coming from. For example, in Nalchik, with a population of approximately 300k, there is only one mosque. Why? Because in communist times, all were destroyed and even the current one was built after the Communist fall. Communism stripped the population of its religion and anger was subsided by making alcohol cheaper than water. So maybe the first and second generation held fast to tenets of the religion, secretly teaching their children about Islam, but how long could that last? By the third generation, a society begins to lose its previous religion and adopts the one that is taught in school, on TV, radio, in the streets, and all around: the religion of communism. So we can stand on the outside and be judgmental about why people are this way, but we were not there to experience it and cannot in all honesty say that we and our children would have kept our religion alive. I recall that Islam came to this region around the 15th century since that time has been strong. For the communists to stamp it out took drastic measures. In Moscow and other places, they kept the churches open but just took names of people who went in. In this region, they had to destroy them completely to make sure people lost their faith. Even then, if you ask the people, they haven’t lost their faith, just the physical manifestations of them, because nobody was around to teach them. In this situation, even to associate yourself as a Muslim is a big step. It is much more difficult to make someone say the shahada, and much easier to ask a Muslim to give up alcohol. In the end, I think a drunk Muslim is better than a sober non-Muslim.

Till Next Time,
Babi

First Day in Nalchik

Fairly slow day as it was the weekend. We met with the head person in charge of Islamic Relief in the Northern Caucasus. He is a Jordanian brother that had come about 12 years ago here to study. Obviously, he ended up staying after his studies ended. We went out for lunch at a restaurant down the street from the hotel. One thing I have noticed here is there are usually two kinds of meals: heavy and light. Even the light meal is huge compared to our standards and every meal has meat as a main course. Most of the people are very built and not fat nor tall.

Till Next Time,
Babi

A Day of Touring

In the morning, we toured the outside of the Kremlin and the Red Square. From there we took a taxi to a shopping market called Izmailovo Market where they sold Matrechkas and other goods. Matrechkas are famous Russian dolls that open up to discover smaller dolls, until you have the smallest one. We were not able to perform jumma because our guide did not know where there was a masjid and we were running out of time (it would take to long to go and come back). Moscow, with a population of approx. 10 million has about 1 MM official muslims and another 1 MM not registered. Despite this, I did not see, as we drove, any visible signs of Muslims or mosques.

We arrived at the Domodedobo Moscow airport a little early since traffic on Friday’s gets very bad as people leave work and head out of town for the weekend. We spent about 4 hours at the airport hangin’ out and one interesting thing that happened was that while I was using the restroom, a woman cleaning lady walked in and began cleaning the room. There were other people there in the restroom, but I was the only one surprised that she was in there!!! After leaving, I told the story to our guide, and he just smiled and said “this is Russia.” The conversation turned into a discussion about the “liberal” nature of society when it came to sex, dress, etc. It was my observation that people in Russia and Eastern Europe (from my Bosnia trip) were generally more open about their sexuality. I explained to our guide that they were much more open than Americans and he was completely surprised. But its true, the things we complain about as being too liberal on public TV would be no problem here. I seriously doubt that a Russian version on CBS would have been fined when the Super Bowl incident happened. Walking in the malls of US compared to here, you immediately realize the difference with the way women are dressed. It is not the same with men as they are dressed very similar. One explanation could be that as the East begins its road down capitalism and wants to emulate the US, the programming they receive about American culture is from cable TV and Hollywood, hardly a depiction of US culture.

We finally boarded the flight and made our way to Nalchik. This was the first time in my life that I had flown on Russian jet, it was a Ty 154 and looked similar to a Boeing 727. Our guided mentioned that in 1991, after the breakup of Aeroflot, there were aprox. 500 airlines and that number has dwindled down to approximately 200. That seems like a lot, but in reality, most are airlines that own 1 or 2 airplanes and operated regionally on a limited basis. Thus many routes have no competition and one could tell this be being on the plane. Most planes in the world are old as regular maintenance keeps them running for a long time, and airlines do spend money in renovating the interiors. Not here!!! The plane looked like it was from the 1960s, with old seats, open overhead luggage compartment, and don’t even let me get started on the bathroom. I prayed that the engine and exterior maintenance was better than the inside.

Once we landed in Nalchik, there was tractor waiting for us to to board the passenger compartment and then it towed us into the main terminal. Our luggage arrived in a dump truck. I am literally explaining the situation with no exaggerations. Being the only “brown skinned” people on the flight, we stuck out like soar thumbs and were asked to come in for checking to make sure our papers were in order and we had permission to be here. The security office was located in the departure building and the sign outside the office said: “Agricultural Quarntine Area”, as pointed out by our guide. The whole process took 1 hour and then we were let go. Getting in our cars and leaving out of the airport, we were stopped again for further checking by other guards. I guess I better get used to this for the next few days.

Till Next Time,
Babi

Arrival into Moscow

We arrived into Moscow today and the original plan was to go to Nalchik that evening. There were no seats available, so we will fly out tomorrow. The airport was about 1 hour from Moscow and we checked in to the Hotel Russia, which is the largest hotel in Europe (rough math tells me there are over 1800 rooms!!). It is directly across the street from St. Basil’s Cathedral and Red Square.

Moscow looks like a beautiful city, and we will tour more tomorrow. Besides the commercialization, there is a lot of character with many old buildings with great architecture. There is also a small church on almost every corner and when I asked our guide whether or not they fill up or are they just there for tourist, he said that every Sunday, each fills up. Even after decades of atheist communism, people have still managed to maintain some sort of religion. Insha Allah, tomorrow I hope to do jumma at the largest mosque in Moscow and then head down to Nalchik.

Till Next time
Babi

As I begin

I flew into London Heathrow and was met by Anwar Khan and Jehangir Malik from Islamic Relief at the airport. I had a smooth sailing through customs and was a little nervous not knowing what to expect after the train bombings in London.

I spent the day at the Islamic Relief UK office in East London where the staff briefed us on some of their activities. Mostly, it was about various fundraisers they were having, but one highlight was to find that Islamic Relief has graduated into not only relief and development but also advocacy as well. For example the End Hunger Now campaign that coincided with the G8 summit, Islamic Relief was one of the sponsoring organizations. Also, they have also joined, in the UK, what is known as the DEC (Disaster and Emergency Committee) that has pooled 9 national charities together to jointly raise money for various disasters and emergencies across the world. They are currently working on the Niger issue.

I leave today for Moscow, then onwards to Nalchik. Once there, we will have to submit papers to travel to Ingusethia and I hope to be there by Monday. As I am mentally preparing to go, I can’t help but recall my trip to Bosnia in 1996 that I made. So much has changed, just in the technology we can use to report back. Back then, I never thought I would be able to keep a blog like this!!!! Digital cameras were too expensive, etc. I am looking for to this trip but am also nervous in what to expect. This area has been on the Muslim mind for about one and a half decades, but few have traveled there to experience the situation first hand. I thank Allah for blessing me with this opportunity and ask that He allow me to accurately convey my thoughts as we proceed.

Till Next time,
Babi